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Not many times in your life can you have a conversation with a complete stranger while shitting your pants. Story Elements. You all would not have guessed some of these. The time came for my speech, and the combination of my phobia and nervous laughter at my own bad jokes caused me to violently shit my pants or dress in this case. If we like it we will post it. I blamed the smell on my daughter. Yean
Sign up. Submit a Podcast. As soon as he closed the door I pooped my pants. So I sat on a bag and sped home which was about a minute drive. On the way home I got pulled over by a cop. I was humiliated and couldn't tell him why I was speeding so I ended up getting a ticket. It was at like eight years old in my best friend's basement, and she just looks at me and with a dead straight face, says:.
Said that he douched out on the ice on the way here and shat himself, and that he had to run home and change his pants because he didn't want to smell like. Shat definition is - past tense and past participle of shit.
I was pregnant and took some laxatives because I hadn't shit in weeks. They didn't do anything for two days until the exact moment I was standing in line to go through security at LAX.
That's when I felt the rumbling but didn't go to the bathroom for fear of missing my flight. My two-year-old was fussing and when I bent down to pick her up the strain of it all caused an explosion in my pants. I waddled through security and luckily didn't get patted down. I blamed the smell on my daughter. I recently went back to this girl's house after an enjoyable date. The following morning I got up and noticed a small patch on the sheets where my arse had been situated.
I initially dismissed the idea of it being a genuine skidmark, as it had never happened before, so I assumed I had simply been suffering from a very sweaty crack. It was only when I got home and went for my post-coital dump that I saw the shit stain on my boxers.
It was in that instant that I knew the game was up. I'd basically become The Gary Lineker of Tinder. Needless to say, I never heard from her again.
On my honeymoon we went to Jamaica and I picked then to try goat! It was our first night there and I didn't know where the restrooms were, so I started speed-walking to our hotel room. I made it all the way to the door but tripped over the threshold to our room. When I tripped it was like a release switch went off and I shit my pants.
I showered and changed fast and went back to my new husband. He looked me right in the face and said, "You shit your pants, didn't you? So I was with my boyfriend in wine country celebrating our three-year anniversary. The tasting room gave me some ridiculous line about not letting people, even paying customers, use their bathroom so I had to walk to a church two blocks away. As soon as I walked in, it happened and I had to throw away my underwear in a church.
I told my boyfriend and he proposed that night anyway.
I might be the only person who shit herself and got engaged in the same day. I was given the task of a toast at my sister's wedding. As I have a terrible fear of public speaking I tried to make it more comfortable by throwing some jokes in. If this is the first time e-mailing your Kindle, you need to find or set the Kindle e-mail address something like yourname kindle. NOTE: If you are using a device other than a Kindle, and you don't see your device listed, it is probably not supported.
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