Seriously, get creative and find ways to sexually connect. It's normal to be scared of postpartum sex.
After all, the parts involved just went through a pretty traumatic event. So start slow. Share a lingering kiss now and then. Once you work up to actual sex, use protection if necessary—it's very possible to get pregnant again right away. Even if you're feeling not-so-appealing, naked is sexy. Terrell recommends a joint shower, a game of strip poker, a candlelit tub or—our favorite—some skin-on-skin spooning. Without any necessary plans for sex, slide between the sheets minus the skivvies. You may fall asleep right away, in which case you'll have a nice, intimate rest.
No, your sex life won't be all quickies from now on promise.
There'll be amazing things in the future like a child that sleeps for more than 45 minutes. But in these crazy days of exhaustion, crying fits and 3 a. Go ahead and give it a shot. It worked for Kimberly Ford, author of Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids , who claims that even brief intimate episodes release frustration, leave her feeling closer to her husband and keep the flame alive for future rolls in the hay. Childbirth can leave a lady less-than-lubricated.
First, recognize that this has nothing to do with your love or desire for your partner. If they don't believe you, make them read this. It's those pesky hormones again—namely a decrease in estrogen due to your new placenta-free state. Chemicals produced in breastfeeding add to this issue too.
It could be six months until you're back to normal, so check out the personal care items at your local drugstore. A little well-placed Astroglide can work wonders. For many women, having body anxiety, or trying to harvest enough time to do something about it, seems like part and parcel of adulting.
Comparing yourself to the western bodily ideal is just something you do. Worrying about not eating well enough, not being active enough is and not looking like you care enough about this stuff is a genuine concern for many women in a culture where skinniness is still an accomplishment.
Research claims that on average, women have 13 negative thoughts about their body daily. At home, I undress and gawp at the bump, admiring its huge, globular weirdness for whole swathes of time. A doctor had asked me about exercise a few weeks ago, and I told her that I had been attempting a daily goal of 10, steps. Not least in the same way society seems to on non-pregnant women, at least. And then, owing to a diagnosis of SPD or pelvic girdle pain , it was suggested that I knock walking on the head for a bit.
Kicking back! On medical advice! I might not like what I see, and I might want to do something about it. I suspect it will take me some weeks to get around to caring. Besides, I might just be a bit busy by then. Tanya Sweeney is writing a weekly column about her pregnancy.
Commit to making one small weekly addition to your marathon training plan.
Topics: United States. That I couldn't count on him to not throw a temper tantrum at the most inopportune moments. And how, ultimately, I simply could not control his moods or behavior, no matter how hard I tried. I wanted him to know that I never planned on having more children. That we were on the fence about one, and were relieved with how well he fit into our lives. That pregnancy was not easy for me. But that we loved him so much, we wanted to give him a sibling. That we couldn't imagine him growing up without any family outside of his father and me.
I wanted to tell him how I worried I could never love another child as much as him. How I felt guilty before his brother was even born. But how, miraculously, I felt the same profound love and joy when his brother joined us. That I had no words -- only tears -- to express how I felt at that moment.
That my heart grew fuller and richer, now accommodating both of them. I wanted to express how my heart aches when I watch him and his brother play together.
How I sometimes listen at the door to their bedroom, eavesdropping on their conversations. That I melt when he tells his little brother that family always sticks together. That even their elaborate plans for destruction make me laugh in awe, long after they've been disciplined and have gone to bed.
So your post-baby sex life is a little lacking? (Okay, make that nonexistent?) The good news is you're not alone. With baby in the picture, sex can drop a few. See what life is like before and after baby, from the change in your sleep schedule to your eating routine.
Most of all, I want to tell him that my friend was right. That my heart did change once I had him. I will never be the same person. Everything in my life has realigned as he and his brother have risen to the top of the list. Every emotion is felt more deeply, more acutely. He will forever carry a piece of my heart with him.
And he was the first. The impetus. The one to start it all.
She chronicles her experiences in making the leap to self-employment, her adventures in parenting, and her other favorite topics on her blog at Leap of Faye. She can also be found on Facebook , Twitter , and Pinterest.
Former Corporate American. Simple Living Learner. Real Life. Real News. Real Voices.