She met her husband during her first year in Newark and is now happily married with two wonderful boys. After experiencing a stillbirth and being a parent of a micro preemie, Amy has begun walking in the March for Babies, helping to support prematurity awareness and hopefully prevent this from happening to others.
Bright Eyed Wonder. Amy Beukema.
Bright Eyed Wonder is the story of a mother's experiences during her micro-preemie's first year of life. From the whirlwind of her son Brayden's quick and unexpected birth, through trials, tears, and tribulations in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, his homecoming, family medical issues and finally celebrating Brayden's first birthday.
Every half hour or so I would find myself rushing for a bathroom and hoping that this would be the last time I had to vomit for the day. Over the course of the next two weeks, I lost about 10 pounds.
Unable to keep anything down despite trying everything that I could find that claimed to ease morning sickness, I finally got a prescription for an anti-nausea medication that helped a great deal. I was a bit hesitant to take the medication, not wanting to do anything that might potentially harm my baby. Even after tons of reassurance that the medication was safe and used frequently, I took it only when I absolutely needed it. The criteria for actually needing the medication, in my mind, was that I had some function that I had to attend in public and just couldn't be rushing to a bathroom and non-functional for the entire time.
Sitting through jury duty qualified as one of those times. Around week 10, an ultrasound was completed at my first OB appointment and everything looked as it should.
The baby was the right size and in the right place. A heartbeat could be seen.
Once I knew that everything looked okay for my baby, I relaxed immediately. I can remember talking with my doctor about James's delivery, since now my only fear was not making it to the hospital in time to deliver my baby. There was this unreasonable, or possibly reasonable given James's delivery fear of having my baby on the side of I trying to get to the hospital. I was reassured that they would do everything possible to prevent this from happening and to make sure that I was in the hospital for delivery.
When I got to be close to my due date, I would be admitted to the hospital and induced. This plan was acceptable for me, and I was able to enjoy the remainder of my short pregnancy after the extreme morning sickness lessened at around 13 weeks. Sunday, May 16, , a date that I will always and forever remember. I was almost half way through my pregnancy.
After spending a morning at the park with James, I put him down for his nap and decided to rest for a while.
Pregnancy is exhausting and I had knee problems, which were making it difficult to walk. Using a pillow to prop my leg up and relieve the pain, I got myself comfortable on the couch and tried to take a brief nap. As I was lying there I started to feel very weak contractions that almost felt like minor menstrual cramps. I didn't think too much about this, especially since I had the Braxton Hicks contractions so frequently during James's pregnancy. I got up to get a glass of water to see if that would help ease the cramps, but was unsuccessful.
Finding my comfortable spot on the couch again, I decided to just rest and relax, as that would be the best way to get the cramps to subside. After about an hour, I got up again to use the bathroom and was horrified to feel and hear the gush of fluid as my water broke. At the exact same time, I heard James start to cry. Pat was at work during this time, so I rushed to get James and try to comfort him. Carrying and bouncing him through the house to calm him, I frantically searched for my cell phone and called Pat and then my doctor.
I just remember saying, "I think I'm losing the baby," and he was at the house within minutes. Afriend was at the house, painting our foyer for us, so we left James with him in a hurry and rushed to the hospital.
My doctor was on her way, even though she wasn't even the doctor on call that day. As we drove to the hospital, I held my stomach and just cried, I couldn't feel my baby kicking anymore. Upon arrival at the hospital, we were directed to the triage waiting room for what seemed to be an eternity. When I was called back to the check in room, I can remember the nurse asking why I was here.
After telling her that my water had broken and I was having minor cramps, I was appalled to have her ask, "Are you sure you're not incontinent? As she continued with the vitals, we discovered that my baby still had a good strong heartbeat. He or she was alive. This did little to calm my fears but did create the teeniest, tiniest bit of hope. Once this torturous check in process was completed, I was directed back to the waiting room.
Bright Eyed Wonder [Amy Beukema] on lirodisa.tk *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Students would submit jokes in a cardboard box, appropriately. Bright Eyed Wonder - Kindle edition by Amy Beukema. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks .
Finally, my name was called for an exam room. After reviewing what was happening yet again, the resident doctor conducted an exam and then gave us the news that I knew was coming. Losing the baby was "inevitable. There was absolutely nothing that could be done to save my baby. We were then bombarded with choices: do we want to induce or let me go into full labor naturally?
Do we want the baby blessed? What do we want to do with the remains? As all of these questions were being thrown at us, preparations were being made to transfer us to the high risk wing of the hospital. The same nurse that conducted the check in process came by to express her condolences; it was almost as if a switch had been flipped in the triage area. It went from, "Here's another paranoid pregnant woman," to, "Oh, she's really losing her baby, we should be nice," in about a nanosecond. My parents were on their way to the hospital to be with me, and one of my dearest friends, Stacey, rushed to be at my side during this unimaginable ordeal.
Fortunately, I wasn't in much pain. I chose to be induced, not seeing a point in prolonging the inevitable.
Brand new: A new, unread, unused book in perfect condition with no missing or damaged pages. In this film, Henry is presented as the brighteyed , noble champion of a clean Arthurian pageant. We accept no liability for loss of items if the delivery address is incorrect or incomplete. I can remember asking for an epidural and being told that we had to wait until I was in the labor and delivery room, and currently they were just waiting for a room to be available to move me. We were expecting another child!
My OB came to talk to me about what to expect and review some of my choices again. For some reason, the nurses and doctors found it necessary to repeatedly tell me that my baby would not be able to survive. My heart broke repeatedly as I imagined holding my tiny baby in my arms, helpless to stop the pain or imminent passing. The prospect of my baby being born alive only to perish shortly after his or her arrival seemed so incredibly cruel to me.
After hours of being in the hospital trying to coming to terms with everything that happened over the course of the day, Joshua Cole slipped silently into this world. In my mind, it was a blessing that my sweet baby boy never took a breath outside of the womb.
He didn't have to suffer and struggle only to pass away. The nurse took his tiny body and cleaned him off, wrapping him in a little blanket and putting a tiny little hat on his head and then gave him back to me. The tears flowed freely down my face as I held my baby's still body in my arms.
I kept him with me for a long time, not able to truly say good-bye. He looked like a miniature version of his big brother, the same shape of his eyes and forehead. The same little nose.
Years later, I still find myself studying the pictures that the nurse took of him from time to time, remembering my baby boy that never had a chance at life. The next morning, I was discharged from the hospital and rushed to get back to James. I couldn't believe how much I missed him during this terrible experience. All I wanted to do was hold him in my arms. The following week was spent taking my maternity clothes out of my closet and putting my regular clothes back in, a process that took so much longer than getting the maternity clothes into my closet.
After about five minutes, I would have to sit down and cry for a while and then I would be able to return to the awful task at hand. I simply had to get this done though; I couldn't bear to continue to look at all the maternity clothes that I no longer needed. The outreach and support from my friends and family helped me so much to get through this trying time.