The Trouble With Tantrums

How To Measure Whether Your Child’s Tantrums Are Normal
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A move? A separation? A new baby sitter? Again, so sorry you are struggling. Greene and I am not a doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies. Sometimes it is his way of asking things and sometimes I have no clue why he does that. It makes me disoriented and I shout back not to shout.

Though most of the times I try to handle the situation calmly, I have been having lot of difficulty handling this. Please advice. It should be done every time he asks for help by making noises. My son is 3 turned 3 in August and he has been slowly starting to have tantrums more and more.

They do not happen in preschool, but happen at home, and mostly with me mom. To make matters worse, his father and I separated in September and I moved to an apartment. The home he grew up in also sold in November, and he has a new house with his dad as well. He has started getting really violent kicking, hitting, pinching and throwing toys and belongings, banging on the walls, etc. I have tried giving him loving touch which seems to make him even angrier. He also gets angry when I try to talk about things after he calms down. I believe what is going on is normall developmentally.

He has a lot of changes in a short span, the separation and the 2 new houses. That 3 changes in a short amount of time. I saw this comment was posted in December so hopefully its better now a month later. I just thought that was so rude, when other women are just upset, and probably just typing fast out of frustration. You actually came off as the idiot. And if you are so smart , you would know this, and use common sense and compassion.

Your absolutely right. I dont recall writing this but, I must have been going through something with my own two year old terror. Thank you for putting me in my place. I apologize. I have a 3year old that I went and picked up across country because my daughter was beat up by her new boyfriend. Yesterday, he woke up and the bed was soaked in sweat.

Occasional fits are nevertheless common among toddlers.

She lives in New Jersey and I am currently in California. I am in affordable housing, so I do not have the funds for an attorney but as a free consultation, I can not do anything so long as she has a job and a roof over her head for him. This is a 3year old. Grandparents do not have rights, and I have called pediatricians to get him seen, but they said that mom has to be the one to take him to the initial appointments.

I am unsure as to what my options may be for taking him to get screened on this and possible marijuana exposure. Can anyone please tell me since it is going on three weeks and I am at a loss. Thank you. I know this was nearly a year ago but I hope things are better for your little grandson. You may be his only hope. Also, record him talking about the things that have happened to him and also keep a diary of everything that happens and what he tells you.

Also, If your daughter is using drugs she can get on long term birth control and get paid. The organization is called Project Prevention. I only bring this up because you mentioned marijuana exposure. God bless you! And all the other grandparents taking care of the abused little ones.

Thank you so much. A year and still in court fighting custody. Can you believe they keep throwing me back and forth. I am literally going broke and about to lose my car, but my grandson will be worth it. Yes, documenting ever, but in the state of New Jersey grandparents dont have any rights and it seems like the Judge has already made up his mind that children belong with their mother. Thank you for replying. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I would suggest you start a go fund me page. I would gladly give to your cause. Let me know if you do that. My only concern would be the judge looking down on this. Maybe if you did it anonymously. I will never understand why one person — the judge — decides the fate of a little one.

God bless you. You are amazing, and I thank you so very much for your response. I tried the GoFundMe for a month without nothing. I took it down there was nothing. Put yourself in my shoe. Kayden Mancuso was 7 and said that she was afraid of going with her father, and the Judge saw no violence or aggressiveness against the child, but other adults and said the child should get visitation with dad, and her own father killed her Aniya Day Garrett was only 4 when she asked if she could just stay with her father, but CPS nor the courts listened to her and she turned up dead and the hands of her mother and her boyfriend These stories have gone too far and for too long, someone in DC is not making policies to these tragedies I know you are extremely busy, so there is no need to respond, but thank you for allowing me to vent.

You are truly appreciated. If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. This is the most vague and uneducated article I have read in a while. The evidence is so very skewed and non-reliable. It leaves parents scratching their heads…. His mother just gives in time and time again and refuses to even consider sending him to therapy, when he is clearly in a lot of pain and not expressing in any way other than tantrums.

Am i wrong to think shes being neglectful in refusing to seek professional help? I hope they both get the help they need. I am at my wits end. I have a 3 year old son who throws raging temper tantrums at daycare. He has been going to daycare since he was 6 weeks old my husband and I both work full time. He was at the same daycare until about 4 months ago. He would have tantrums there but not to this extent. So, my husband pulled him out in January and put him in a new daycare. We have him in another daycare now and are still having the same problems. My husband and I are getting calls from daycare constantly to come pick him up.

I think now my son has learned that if he acts crazy like this he can go home, which is what he really wants. I have tried everything. Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Taking things away. We have gone to 2 sessions with a child psychologist and are scheduling more. Like I said, we have had his tonsils out. Any advice, mommas? Have you tried rewarding the good behavior and ignoring the negative?

Hi, I feel for you! Is there anyway you could work less hours or go to part time? This could be part of the tantrums as you mentioned. How is he at home with you? If less work time is not possible I would either go out of my way to meet in person with the staff regularly and establish a relationship and act as a bridge between them and your son so he sees you trust them and even talk about them at home.

Or what about a live in nanny? This is so hard, talk to him, hug him when you feel like doing it the least. I have 2 kids under 2 , my 2 year old throws a lot of tantrums I struggle with this as well in our own way. Of course this is possible, but from what you wrote, he has changed daycare 2x and had tonsils removed, this sounds like a normal possible reaction from a 3 year old. Wish you the best. Hi, hajar. I think your son is getting hard time with other boys. In the battle to possess toys in the childcare, he always would be a loser because he is weaker than them due to his age.

I found that they were keep arguing, and my son became a loser every time so he cried each time. However, as a mom, if your child is continuously getting emotional hurts from peers in the childcare, you strongly talk about it with childcare teacher, so let them prevent this situation, or find other childcare which consists of same age group of children. I hope you can deal with this situation well. Hello Bomi, thank you for your comment, yes actually i spoke to the teachers and they try always to make kids get along together but the main problem we face is some other parents, some of them tell their children that it is ok to hit other kid if he get near, they think that their kid will be stronger acting like this,or it is thr way to defend himself, me and the other teachers and some nice parents try to make kids be nice to each other but somehow the other parents make a bad influence, we decided that when my son starts yo show the bad mood, we have to give him more space to express himself and if its necesary keep him away for a while from the older kids, unfortunatly, the influence of adults it is the main problem,otherwise the kids always get back to each other and love each other, and i guess the decision you made for your son is also good, because sometimes we just have to wait the right time when the kid is ready to share or play with others..

It seems the smallest thing can trigger him such as a dropped cookie at snack time.

Temper Tantrums

I have tried talking it out letting him tell me how he feels or why he feels that way I have tried rewarding good behaviours I have tried to notice warning signs as to be able to divert him from his tantrums and I am at my wits end I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I do a lot of it on my own as his dad is always at work or school. Hi Ashley, my 3 year old is low on the spectrum and exhibits many of the same behaviors you state. Something drops, and he yells until I pick it up. Today he screamed for three hours straight.

He kicked, hit, pulled my hair, and tried to rip my shirt. DH came home early to help me, but has a 90 min drive on a good day. DH leaves at 5 am and returns around 8 pm. None of it works. He ultimately shoves me, yanks my hair, or throws things when I stand firm with discipline. However when he throws things or attacks me, I lose it. I put him in pre k as soon as he turned 3, and in some ways the behavior has worsened. His teacher cannot offer me any advice on how to handle these extreme tantrums. If so called special ed experts cannot offer anything but text book advice, then what does a frustrated parent do?

I feel very isolated and trapped at home. Simple, short outings to the store turn into a battle, starting with strapping him into the car seat. Prayers to you, and for all parents in this situation to eventually find a technique that works for each child. Hello I get you mom I am in this too with three kids two boys 7 and 5 ,my girl two. Hats off to all the single parents handling this alone. It seems the best way to have a block of time alone is to let him watch letters, shapes and numbers videos on YouTube. He was given Clonidine and Risperdal and got extremely tired and grew extremely angry.

When I told the nurse at the outpatient hospital and she told the psychiatrist, he changed his medication to Abilify. The Abilify is helping a lot. My son at 15 months old started throwing things at people and animals and I could never get him to stop. He is a sweet child but has always thrown huge tantrums, started spitting, biting, pulling hair. He is very dependent on me. He fights everything I do for him, like getting him to brush his teeth, get ready for bed, getting his nails clipped and hair washed especially. Just now reading your post. Would love to know if things have gotten better with your son and if so, what worked?

I am going through something similar with my 3 year old son. Short outings out with his friends even are a becoming a nightmare. I have to offer bribes to even get him in the car seat or else its a physical battle. The tantrums at home are over things as small as me washing his bedding. I have a 5 year old that will be 6 in December. My husband I have tried many reward behavior methods, but they only worked for very short times. My son loves eating out, but I do not want to always reward him with food. The majority of the time his behavior at school results in a RED for the day which is the worst.

School has been in for 10 weeks and his teacher has called me at least 4 times. Any suggestion at this point will be helpful and appreciated. My oldest is now I looked at this site because I have a 3 year old who has some epic tantrums. Pray for me. I told her that I was particularly frustrated because we had taught him right from wrong and I knew he knew better. To put all of that responsibility on him is not fair. My advice to you is to get a mental health evaluation by a health care professional not one at your school.

It will be worth it. Good luck! Get on waiting lists and be patient, but persistent! Only you can advocate for your child. My son turned 4 in August and I am very concerned about his behaviors. He is very intelligent and can almost carry on conversation like an adult. He gets very angry and sometimes claws at his face. He has told me that he wants to hurt himself. I am terrified because I have Borderline Personality Disorder and my first self inflicted injury was at 6 years old. My son is exactly like me seemingly in every way. Do I take him to a Dr or am I being overly paranoid like my husband says?

I understand your distress as this would be an upsetting situation for a parent. From working in a youth mental health centre my advice would be to talk to your doctor, you may not be seen by a specialist but it is worth talking about your concerns. Regardless of that, it is also important how you talk to your son about what is happening. Also consider how your own emotional responses may be impacting him, in terms of social modelling. Perhaps get help for yourself around this.

BPD affects the way you regulate emotions and your interpersonal relationships, but it is of course possible to develop insight and strategies around this as you may have done already. Hard to be more specific on a page like this. All the best, clearly you care a lot about your son. I am in desperate need of advice. My 6 year old son throws terrible temper tantrums if he cannot get his own way, and is very destructive in the way he behaves. He will shout kick, hit and scream. I have taken him to a pediatrician who did not assess him, but was very willing to give me the script to take Ritalin.

I have since taken him to a psychiatrist who was more willing to listen to and pay some attention to my son. He gave forms for the teachers to fill in and will need to go back to see him once the forms have been filled in. It appears when I have spoken to the teachers that he seems to show some symptoms of ADHD, but not all. I feel that he is not a case of ADHD, but rather has frustration and underlying anger.

I do not want him to go onto Ritalin; no matter what everyone says regarding side effects and long term use. There have been many stories about children getting successful results on the medicine, but at the same time there are just as many stories about the negative side effects.

My son is going to attend play therapy to see if we can get to the bottom of the anger and tantrums. Is there any there medical syndromes, mental conditions, etc that I could research in this area? Thank you Kind regards Helen Norman. As you can see in the post below, my son goes through some terrible tantrums too, but I would stay away from any medicine and tags such as ADHD, especially when your instinct tells you to.

How much do teachers know about this and how qualified and specialized are they in the area? Leaving my son on his own, as he can break things and even hurt himself 2. Holding him, as it makes it worse 3. Talking or reacting, as it makes it worse too. My 5 years old was acting much like what you are described about your son and then some.

It turned out he has Type 1 Diabetes and what was making him act out and throw tantrums was elevated Blood Glucose. I taught my daughter deep breathing, and she comes to me and asks me to help her breath to calm down almost every tantrum. I wonder if this falls into the last category of needing external help. But, it is internally motivated that she willingly comes to me to ask me to help breath with her. Should I be concerned? Perhaps you could help her get to that point by shortening the time you work with her each episode. In the meantime, good work on your part helping her find a way to master what can be a very difficult time.

Thank you! Any tips for how to shorten that time? I am at my absolute wits end.

Tantrums vs. meltdowns

She will throw and pull anything in her reach, she tries to pull on my arms and legs to prevent me from moving. Prayers to you, and for all parents in this situation to eventually find a technique that works for each child. My four year old just started kindergarten in September already he is getting negative reviews. Toddlers want independence and control over their environment — more than they can actually handle. As a mom of now adult children, I can tell you this will not go on forever.

I am the Director of an ECE program, and have always been as understanding and patient as I can be of how my child copes with loss — and of his difficulties communicating because he also had a speech delay. He no longer has the speech barrier, as I sought out help early and hes right on track. I just want to help him. I have bruises all over my legs from being kicked. Worst case scenario? My child will accompany me to work when hes out of school, if he throws a fit there I can expect to have chairs thrown at me. He does this at home too, except for the chair throwing — the chairs at home are too heavy and large to chuck at me.

That worked once for maybe five minutes, now he just completely trashes whatever area I send him to. My desk? Quiet reading area? Area with soft pillows, large soft mats, a bookshelf, felt stories and story board, and books. He will literally throw everything. He started biting again on Monday during a particularly fun fit. I asked him to wait his turn to line up for a snack — he responded by full on attacking me and swinging at me.

I tried to hug him to immobilize him and hopefully calm him down, he responded by twisting around and biting me as hard as he could four times. Ditto to the toothbrushing. I cut him off from technology. I cut him off from having friends or family visit if he throws a fit. I try to offer good incentives — he wants a cat, so I told him he has to have some time without any fits first, because kittens get scared easy and he needs to be able to help care for it too. Nothing motivates him. Nothing helps. Tonight, I was organizing his toys after a play date, I asked him to brush his teeth while I put away the toys, he refuses.

He refuses and starts to argue with me that he needs tv time. So I pick him up, put him in bed, continue my cleanup. He starts his high-pitched screaming again… And I lost it. I slapped him. I am tearing my hair out. I feel like this is all my fault. The guilt is eating me alive. My child is literally leaving bruises and marks on me — and there is absolutely no way to calm him down. Please help me….

I have a 7mo at home, too so things have really escalated. I have to restrain her to keep her from hurting me and destroying the house. Though she is a perfect angel at school, with other friends — but with me she is out of control. We are scheduled to see a counselor soon. Your son may well require counseling and medical intervention. I hope you find some help, soon. I raise 5 sons and at one time a single parent. Stop the understanding is my advice. Your the grown up he is the kid. You tell him your the mom he is the child. Stop now! Your not going to get everything you want.

He screams you have really big voice. I can hear you. What does he do all day. Structure his day and ignore some of his behaviors. Be consistent with structure. This may sound easy. Take some self defense classes and learn deflection tactics. When his hand goes up to hit you you stop it. Say NO in a firm voice. Give him a pillow to hit. You can hit the pillow not me.

Follow through on direction. He is old enough to be in a sport where he can work off some of that energy. Have you ever read parent effectiveness training. Follow through on what he is to do. You should be enjoying this child. Boys can be lots of fun. Find something good about him and that he is good at and recognize it. Hahaha no disrespect, but your post made me literally laugh out loud. You are in absolutely no position to give advice to any of the stressed, heartbroken, beleaguered, and searching for good advice parents here.

I was a parent educator for years and I shudder to think this is what I sounded like before I had experience. Days where I question my sanity…. Out of the realm of normal. But — anyway, thank you for your advice. Rachel, I am an early childhood educator of toddlers and raised 2 children on the spectrum. It will give you tips for handling the behaviors. Start giving your child a choice of two actions or items.

He will be distracted and have some control. The book will give you ideas for calming activities. Water play is your friend. This is from the book. It will give you the terms to teach your child to identify when they are getting anxious, etc. They will grow with it. Try to spend time outside with your kids, with lots of exercise. I came to this website as I have a toddler that overturns chairs, etc. Good luck. Many prayers. The book will give you lots of strategies to improve your parenting skills. Hi, I have a 4 year old daughter. Youngest of her brothers.

I used to think like you. It has become extremely frustrating and I ran out of physical and mental energy. I had to come to a realization that my daughter was different from her brothers. She threw non stop tantrum and walking away to make her stop seemed to be fuel for her fire. I stopped taking her out in public. I put her in extra curriculum activities in hope that she will get rid of some of that energy…another disaster plan and wasted money.

She was defiant to the instructors which of course made me look like a bad parent or a parent who did not know how to discipline her child. I used to think her behavior was because she was spoiled after all she was the youngest of four brothers. Her older brothers are now baffled at her behavior and her teenage brothers made a mental health provider suggestion.

Our children need to be evaluated to see what has trigger the behavior. We need to know could it be genetics? Could it be age related pregnancy? The next time you see an out of control child, rather than criticizing, ask if help is needed. Both parent and child need to calm down. A helping hand and caring heart speaks volume. A disgust look and criticism may put us into a depression.

My daughter wears a purple ribbon so people understand she is special and does not know how to control her emotions. Have a wonderful and blessed life. I know you did not mean harm with your post. I think you were in need of some understanding of what we are going through. I also have a 5 year old Grandson who lives with me. I am 56 years old and I am doing everything I can to take care of him. He does the exact same things to me that your son does to you. He was suspended from Kindergarten this past week for 3 days for having a melt down at school and throwing chairs at students and the substitute teacher in the classroom, as well as throwing crayons and hitting another student in the ear and trying to hit students with other items that were thrown.

When the assistant principle went to try and calm him down, he had to physically pick my grandson up and carry him to the front office, with my grandson kicking and hitting the whole way to the front office. I was called to come and pick my grandson up. When we got home, my grandson threw a big hard plastic object at my head which hit me in the eye, knocked my glasses off and caused my eye area to swell and hurt. The next day, he head butted me in the face and my nose has now been bleeding for 3 days and my teeth are hurting and my soft pallet hurts and my face hurts.

I have been debating going to the emergency room to see if my face is broken or what is wrong with my face now……. My daughter has now not had a job in right at 2 years and 6 months ago my grandson came to live with me, with my daughter give me power of attorney showing that my grandson is now living with me….. The first thing I did was add my grandson onto my foodstamps and sign him up for insurance.

Getting his insurance changed from the state he was in to my state, took my contacting the insurance company here in my state as well as in his state and not giving up on getting this done…….. The insurance company in my state would not give him insurance until the insurance in his state was cancelled and the insurance company in his state would not cancel his insurance just because I had a notarized letter from his mother that he was now living with me.

It took several months of 3 and 4 phone calls and sending faxes every day to the insurance company in both states……. The insurance company was the same company just in 2 different states so it took a lot to get him on the same insurance, just in my state……. I then scheduled him an appointment with a primary care physician that I had done some research on, that had gotten high scores from other parents whose children saw this physician.

It took 3 weeks to get in with the primary care physician and 4 weeks to get in with the Neurologist, so this saved me a lot of time and not having to wait longer to get in with the Neurologist. I let the primary care physician know that I had already scheduled a Neurologist appointment and the name and address of the Neurologist and she did a referral over to them for me as she stated my grandson did need to be seen by a Neurologist and the one I had chosen based on online research late at night after my grandson went to bed , was and is a wonderful Neurologist and highly sought after……..

So, we go for our Neurologist appointment, and my grandson was his normal hyperactive self…. The only thing that is not the exact same every day is going to bed time, because he has a very hard time going to sleep. Some nights, I go to sleep and he is still awake lying in the bed wide awake. He refuses to sleep without me beside him in the bed, and he has to have his hand on my face and one of his legs over one of my legs.

When he finally does go to sleep, if I move at all, he is wide awake and talking to me, asking me where am I going. I honestly think he is scared I am going to leave him. I know he missed his mommy because he tells me he does, but he also tells me that he loves his mommy but that he also loves me and he does not want to live with his mommy because she is nasty and her house is always nasty, but he does not want to hurt her feelings when she tells him she wants to get him back after she gets a job.

He was suspended from Kindergarten and was made an emergency appointment with his Neurologist. His medication was changed to Ritalin and he is doing much better, although he still gets aggressive as shown by the hitting me in the eye and the head butting my face this past week , but he is much, much better than before. He is scheduled for psychometric testing in January as that was their soonest appointment for the testing.

I have also scheduled for my grandson and I to go to a behavioral therapy program which will help both of us learn how to deal with stress and how to deal with his behavior issues and what ever else may be wrong with him. I know there are some mental health issues with my grandson. This has been a struggle for both me and my grandson. I am scared of him on occasion as it seems like he is not himself and almost as though he is someone else completely when he is angry. His face changes and his eyes half close and he looks under his half closed eyelids and his voice changes……Remember, this is a small, skinny, 5 year old…….

Nothing stops his behavior……. I used to spank him….. I tried time out….. He scratches me, he hits me, he makes me bleed, I will wake up to him having a plastic sword or a plastic toy that is sharp and him trying to cut my throat with it when he gets mad. I know what you are going through and you are not alone in this……I feel like I am living in a nightmare.

I am hoping that whatever is wrong with my grandson can be found and together we can work on making my home a place that is calm and safe. Hi Kyra, I know you sent this message a while ago. I hope your son is getting better.

320 Comments

Has pain been excluded as a cause? As that was my first thought when I read your post. My son is on the autistic spectrum and whenever he is ill, even now at 16 and fully communicative, he can not really identify himself that he feels unwell, as he seems to lack the self-awareness. Frequently putting on make up and changing clothes till she is ok with how she looks.

Also after every meal asks if her belly looks too fat. Is this normal? Maybe ask around some more. That is just my opinion.

This is something she is mimicking. But this is learned.

TANTRUMS AND TERRIBLE TWOS.

I have a daughter who turned 2 last week. She was a calm and quiet little girl who rarely cry and seemed to have high pain tolerance. However, she became ill a week before her second birthday and everything changed after her recovery. She became edgy and throws tantrum about literally everything. She hates it if someone tries to talk to her or offer her anything. She throws objects and kick and cries and she wont stop unless you hold and carry her. Has the little girl recently had any vaccines Pryor to her 2nd birthday?

She throws tantrums sometimes I know what is upsetting and other times have no idea what triggered her to get upset. Some of her tantrums have lasted 25 minutes, but I would guess they average 10 minutes. She stiffness up her body if you try to pick her up , she at times bites her self or an object.

How do you know when these are typical toddler tantrums or if there is an underlying issue. I know there is mental health diagnosis in her bio family and she has been moved a lot between her mom and foster care system for all of her life. When do I seek medical attention? My ex-husband was adopted.

His adopted parents were very loving. Pediatric therapists are trained to draw deep feelings out of kids. It feels like my child 20 years ago. Love love love and a good physchiatric pediatrician. Mine was suffering from sexual abuse. By the time I realized what was going on he was frozen in a world of fear, anxiety, depression and all the terrible symptoms that went with it.

Pay attention moms and dads, these babies needs lots of Care therapy and exceptional professional services. My child has been in therapy since the age of two and is now 22 he suffers so badly that I am so worried. What is worse is that he lives with this monster that abused him and is triggered time and time again. He has no place else to go. I totally melted down and ended up on long term disability with work as the abuse to my son never stopped. I have an 8 year old girl that just started about 3 months ago with aggressive tantrums that get physical. Screams hits kicks name calling.

Nothing seems to calm her down. If you ignore it it gets worse. She is seeing a doctor now and all she wants to do is talk. Any advice? Like us, kids also need to get their anger out and as a parent, you need to ensure that they vent in a non-destructive way. The next time your child is crying or whining, get them engaged in something interesting so he or she completely forgets about the meltdown.

Interestingly, kids have pretty short attention spans and their minds are easiest to divert. Hello everyone. I am glad to see that I am not alone. I have a 2. I have tried time outs do not think he grasps the concept at this age redirection, and giving him space when he needs it, but engaging myself with hi when I feel he needs me. He talks, but not yet in full sentences and for the most part only I can understand him. He is also a biter bit my older son 2x breaking skin and leaving scars both times and he is a thrower breaks remotes, phones, tablets when ever he is angry.

I am trying my best to be patient and tell myself this too shall pass. However, deep down I really feel his behavior is NOT normal. He is grabbing my face throwing a fit as I am writing this. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you in advance. Watch associations and take him to a very good highly recommended therapist.

Someone that cares about children and has a good history. Any new people in his life lately or any changes in daycare or babysitters. Sisters and brothers have new friends? Do not spank him please, love him hold onto him when he is going through this be patient. Little children can suffer, depression, anxiety, ptsd, all kind of things.

My sons behavior was identical to this, I failed to get the very best therapist and the experts he needed. I thought all the experts were helpful any could help. This is not anywhere near close to the truth. Check their education,degrees, tolerance, and get recommendations. We have rules and do positive and have tried negative reinforcing as well as a few swaps on the butt, but nothing is working.

Points system worked for a few weeks till they had a great week and got their reward.. When I got up to go sit by her, her immediate response was to get up when I did and reach out to be picked up context, her dad gives in after a max of like 15 minutes of screaming.. I then sat down, but not close enough that she could touch me, climb on me, or try to force me to direct her play which she almost always does and so she immediately started full-blast screeching again.

So, of course, thanks to my degree, I was able to spot that as a red flag for manipulation and I absolutely never pick her up when I recognize these tantrums. She throws these long tantrums every day, at least once. She sleeps in their bed with them at night, which she has her entire short life. They still give her milk out of a baby bottle at night because apparently she throws tantrums without it. The mom is a pediatrician.. I refuse to give in like her parents do..

Children are not a expierent for you to test out and train. This poor little girl spent the first 9 months of he life being swished to sleep by the warmth and love of her mothers womb. Her parents with the most loving intentions brought her into this world and are raising her, in the best way they know how… with LOVE. So many adults deal with abandonment and depression issues because their emotional needs were not met as children.

As the director of a child care centre I can tell you that giving in to a child every time they insist on your attention is NOT good for the child at all. This makes the child insecure especially when they are not with a parent such as with a caregiver either at home or at daycare. If you teach your child that every time they cry you will pick them up, put a soother or bottle in their mouth etc then how can they learn to self sooth.

By a year old a child should be able to self sooth, at least some of the time. She goes on to hurt others near her or break objects around her. She starts theres tantrums for no apparent reason e. She loses a game on her iPad against her brother. Is there anything I should be worried about? If so who should I go and see? Not necessarily extremely serious, but without intervention, it can become more serious. But I would definitely seek out a professional more than just your primary pediatrician for those simple tools I mentioned.

A child therapist is one route, but I would recommend a behaviorist unless mental illness is suspected. Just my two cents! He communicates very well and can speak full sentences so I know communication is not the issue. The other day we were at the dentist office and he was jumping on the furniture in the waiting room so I made him get down and come sit next to me. He began screaming at the top of his lungs, kicking and lunging at me trying to bite me. After several attempts of trying to bite my arm with no luck he finally took his nails and scratched up the top of my hand to the point of it bleeding.

I had to take him out to the car and after a few minutes he calmed down. I was shaking because his level of aggression scared me. It happens about once a day. These are not normal 2 year old temper tantrums. He has been seeing a behavioral therapist once a week for 2 months now and nothing has changed. If we leave him in his room he will just scream for hours and if he does fall asleep he will wake up in the middle of the night screaming which wakes us up and my school age daughter.

The only way we can get a decent night sleep is if he is in bed with us. He can be very sweet and loving and responds well to being nurtured, but when it comes to structure and discipline we see the violent rages. Give it a few more months at the least. I would also recommend a child therapist mental health because his behaviors are commonly seen in children with even just minor mental health issues.. Hi i have a 3 year old son who doesnt talk very well. He has bee in head start for half a year now and its seems the more he goes the more he throws a tramtrum just for having to get on the bus to go to school then throws one while getting off the bus to go into school and then throws one when its time to come home.

I was told he does try to bite but hasnt done it in sometime but when he does throw a fit he dead weights himself to the point where you have to litterally bend your knees just to pick him up off the ground or he will dead weight himself while your holding him just to try to get him in his seat or into the car or even out of the store. I usually count to ten to myself at home when he throws fit but he never throws a fit at home it always when he has to go to school.

I just started working so his father is home with him in the evenings while i go to work from 4 to midnight or whenever i get off work, i have tried everything from comforting him or trying to get him to show me why he is upset or even by letting him pick what he wants to do or pick a toy to take to school with him. Please i dont know what else to do and i dont want his teachers to keep having problems with him. I try to make sure he has a good balanced meal. If you guys have any tips on what i can do to help him i would greatly appreciate it. When a child has problems communicating their thoughts, desires and needs, they can resort to tantrums either out of frustration or just to let you know they need something different than what they are getting.

Have you had him evaluated by a pediatrician or a behavioral specialist? Greene, my son tantrums and they last mins. He turned 3 in June. I have tried to ignore it and place him somewhere by himself but he kicks screams and he throws things sometimes he has s bad temper.

Plz help!! She had been having some pretty intense and quite frequent tantrums. At least once a day, and they will last hours. If she becomes unhappy at bedtime and falls asleep like that then she will wake in the night shouting and screaming still. At best. She will bite at her clothes, sort of scratch herself but only once badly. During a few nice conversations she has said some slightly concerning things, i.

Not really sure what to do really. Do we seek further professional help who? I hope that helps. Hi there, my son is 3 and he has very violent tempertantrums. He has a younger sister who is 2. He throws about 20 tantrums a day. Screaming throwing toys hitting punching kicking you name it. I thought it was normal but after today a incident happened where his little sister grabbed one of his little toys and he shoved her into my table and she had to get 5 stitches in her head.

Now his father and I are thinking there is a serious problem we have tried every single approach I read about and heard from family and friends. Please if you can tell us some ideas or recommend what specific type of evaluation he needs please. Does that include having him examined by his Pediatrician? How about a Behavioral Therapist? My son is also 3, he is sweet, caring and loving, most of the time. He loves to have fun and listens to directions most of the time. But when he wants something bad enough he is willing to get in trouble just to do it.

He does throw fits about not getting what he wants or being able to do something he thinks he is big enough to do. He has a 1 year old sister who most of the time he loves. He looks out for her, and they love to be together. Okay, so my daughter is One Years old. She can be an awesome baby but sometimes her mood just switches and she starts to hit, bite and starts to throw things all while crying. She always hits herself.

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Hi Shanta, Thanks for writing in! If keeping a detailed log feels overwhelming, try logging one thing for a week and seeing if you can make any links, then the next week log something else. I know this is a lot of work, but so is having a child who is struggling.

Please do log back in and report your findings. Hope that helps! Alexandra caring helper at drgreene. I have a three year old little girl. No matter how hard we try to prevent tantrums, virtually all kids will pitch a fit from time to time.

Stop a tantrum in its tracks with these strategies:. Even better, your child will learn important lessons that will help her down the road. While the tips above will help with tantrums, there are a host of other tools that will address all the behavior problems in your home. The easiest way to get started is with our Free Training. Your kids become more cooperative, self-sufficient and empowered with each additional tool you learn.

Click the button below to sign up for our free training. Learn more about tantrums and how you may be inadvertently making matters worse: 3 Adult Behaviors Guaranteed to Make Tantrums Continue. Taming Tantrums in All Ages A t the grocery store…in the car…at the park…tantrums can happen anywhere and anytime—and with any child. Stop tantrums before they start There are two main factors when it comes to tantrums. You can prevent lots of meltdowns, and enjoy a more cooperative child, by being realistic about what you put your kids through.